Post by annie bee on Nov 26, 2009 14:39:03 GMT 8
...hilarious!!!
The Alan Carr Interview - WESTLIFE
This week, our celeb reporter gets a few diet tips, suggests Brian rejoin Westlife and regrets asking about the weirdest fan gift the boys have reveived...
They are the boy band princes of pop, so I was very excited indeed to get the chance to interrogate Westlife about their new album, Where We Are, their crazy fans and getting fat. And those Irish lads did make me laugh a lot... Although if you think I'm a pregnant dog, wait until you hear what they had to say!
Alan: Hello Westlife! How are you all?
Shane: Good. It's good to be back.
A: Now I saw you on The X Factor the other week - I loved the lasers, very nice touch - but why did you ditch sitting on the stools?
Kian: It's not that we've ditched the stools. It's the typical thing we do, but don't worry, Westlife have got a very big name for stools.
A: Now I was there the week before you, and I think Danyl was loosing votes because of the old microphone tossing, don't you?
Kian: [All laugh] Somebody said he was a bit of a tosser in front of us, but I didn't believe them. I actually had him tipped to win after his first ever performance. Then you hear all the negative stuff that's in the press about him...
A: That's not fair really, is it?
Kian: It's not fair because it definitely does alter votes.
Mark: I feel more sorry about John and Edward. They're nice and naive. Danyl came across as somebody who's able to deal with the press. whereas I feel more sorry for the other ones, the younger ones.
A: It is just a game show at the end of the day. Who do you think will win?
Nicky: I was hoping Lucie would win before she was voted off. I think she was really good in the auditions and she was great when we met her.
Mark: I said Olly would be a good bet.
Shane: I thought Joe - for the Geordies.
A: Aww little Joe! Did you see how fat he was when he was a kid?
Shane: Yeah, it's like, 'What the f**k'!
A: I know, I thought, 'Well there's hope for me!' I don't want to talk to him about the X Factor I want to say, 'How did you loose the weight?'
Shane: Gastric band eh?
A: [Cracking up] Gastric band, oh God...
Now, enough about The X Factor, you must have some mad fans. What's the weirdest thing your fans have done?
Shane: I think being given a used Tampax is the worst thing that's happened.
A: That's disgusting!
Shane: We were once sent a turnip, but that's not as bad as a used, bloody tampon. It turned up in an envelope, we got given it at a signing.
A: [Gagging] A used... that is disgusting. What did you put on it? Did you sign it in the end? A bloody biro wouldn't work...
Shane: A red pen! A Sharpie!
A: Sharpies, they're the ones David Beckham promotes aren't they? They write on anything - you could sign a turd.
Shane: They never smudge either.
A: Now how many of you are married?
Kian: Three of us are married.
Mark: They're all married.
A: [Looking at Mark] Aww, are you not? All alone, never found the right girl?
Mark: [Laughs] I'll never find the right girl.
A: He's looking.
Mark: [Sarcastically] One day.
A: One day she'll come along... with a thingy. [All laugh hysterically]
So what's it like being married? Do you stay in more? Do you read at home?
Kian: [Laughs] Yes, we're all so boring we stay in and read at home!
A: No, I'm sorry. I mean how's it changed for you? Are you loving it?
Kian: Yeah, completely. I'm the one that's newly married - I got married in May - but the two boys have been married a few years. I think you get a lot closer to the person. It doesn't feel any different in your everyday life, but it definitely feels different in your relationship.
A: You guys seem quite grounded - do you ever have those days where you're stumbling out of clubs?
Shane: Yeah, we just stumble out the back door [laughs]. We still stumble out of clubs, the paps just don't follow us around.
A: You know Robbie's hinted he'll re-join Take That - do you reckon Brian will ever come back?
Kian: Well, we'll never allow him, I don't think. I mean, he left the band for a reason and that's the end of that! [All laugh]
A: I only asked!
Kian: [Laughs] I only answered!
Nicky: Brian's still a friend, we don't see him often but realistically he'll never be in the band again. But we'll not rule out singing a song with him. You can't rule out stuff like that because you never know.
Kian: If we got paid enough we'd probably do something with him.
Shane: [Laughing] Kian, you're such a pregnant dog!
A: Meow! Now, you know when Whitney Houston was on the X Factor and her flaps popped open?
Shane: We were actually in Iceland at the time so we didn't see it.
A: The supermarket?
Shane: No, the country! We went to actual Iceland supermarket for Kerry's birthday.
A: Oh dear, what would Brian say?
So you never had a wardrobe mulfanction? Breasts falling out?
Kian: No, we just tie our bra straps tight.
Shane: Did someone's trousers not fall down one day? We got to a gig and we had no boxer shorts on, do you remember?
Nicky: In Italy? That was awful! Yeah, we just wore no boxers! We had white trousers on.
A: What, you could see through them?
Nicky: You could see through them if you really looked and we just wanted to see if anyone would notice - nobody noticed.
A: Oh dear! Ok, if you weren't in Westlife what would you be doing?
Shane: f**k all.
A: I've got no skills in anything! I'd be stacking shelves, doing data entry...
Shane: I'd be doing the same - data entry.
Kian: [To Nicky] A copper, you would have been a copper!
Nicky: Well I was a footballer for a while and then that didn't work and then Westlife happened when I was studying for exams to get in the Irish police. So yeah, I would have been that or a stripper.
Shane: As a copper.
Mark: A kissogram. Kissogram or stripogram?
A: Stripograms are a bit more manual work aren't they?
Mark: How much are you paying?
A: Beggars can't be choosers, love! Just take the money and strip. What would you be doing? Have you got what it takes to be a kissogram?
Shane: I could have been one of those novelty ones with a big fat belly hanging out or something like that.
A: Do you think you'll still be releasing music in 20 years? Like the Stones?
Shane: I don't know...
A: How long do you reckon it'll go on for? Are you still enjoying it?
Shane: Couple of months maybe. Ten years is a possibility, but 20 years - that's a f**king long way away. We'll be 50.
A: You'll need those stools. What's the worst part of your body?
Kian: My belly - it's getting hairy!
Nicky: I've got a weird shaped head.
A: You haven't got a weird shaped head. I shaved my head once and you remember that man from The Goonies? [All laugh] Now Kian, you said that you don't like your stomach, do you like go on diets and keep fit in the gym?
Kian: I go through phases of exercising. Before my wedding I got quite fit and I do watch what I eat more.
Shane: What? You watch what you eat? You used to close your f**king eyes when you were eating?
Kian: No, I just care more about what I'm eating. When you start going to the gym, it's pointless unelss you want to achieve... say you're going to the gym and then getting a Big Mac...
Nicky: What is it the say? Take the 'C' off the chips and what do you get?
A: Hips!
Nicky: Yeah man!
A: That's good!
Shane: Chicken pickers wear bigger knickers.
A: More! I want to know more! Oh, you're done? Lovely then, thank you ever so much for that. It was nice to meet you, boys!
Mark: Thank you, that was fun.
Westlife's album, Where We Are is out on Monday.
Alan Carr: Chatty Man is on Thursdays, 10pm, C4, and he's on Radio 2 on Saturdays, 6pm-8pm. His book, Look Who It Is, is out now
Credit/Source: More magazine / Thanks Rachel for the scans