Post by shayne on Aug 31, 2008 14:21:44 GMT 8
Mark Interview & Pictures In Attitude Magazine
THE LOVE PARADE
Attitude, Stonewall and a few of our friends want your help so we can stamp out homophobic bullying
MARK FEEHILY
Singer with multi-million selling group Westlife
So why have you decided to be part of this?
I think no gay man can say that he didn't have his own experience of coming to terms with his sexuality and it isn't always easy at school, which is an understatement. I 100% want to help abolish homophobic bullying in schools, if that's possible.
Did you get bullied?
I was chubby through my high school years so got bullied for that. I think it's not just individual bullying, it's the way that kids in classrooms speak about homosexuality and the way they use the word gay to mean bad - gay trainers, a gay jacket they don't like - that needs to be tackled. There can be a kid listening to that and gauging what his mates think. Hearing his mates talking about it in a derogatory way is not going to help him come to terms with his sexuality. The funny thing is you can have three or four gay lads in your class but at school no one will ever even adress the possibility, everyone's pertified.
So we did this cover shoot on the Thursday and then news broke on the Saturday about a young man in Liverpool...
Oh yeah, that was so f**king crazy. The kid (Michael Causer) got killed, didn't he? f**king horrific... I was out of the country and I didn't hear about it at first...
No one did, it hasn't been big news nationally at all... which is almost just as shocking to me...
It's absolutely ludicrous. I can't even describe how that makes me feel... You know, I'm gay too and that could happen to me, or to any of us. I don't know the ins and outs of it but it engrages me. Something I've realised is that things don't change until people get up and do something about it. There's no point sitting around just talking about this unless people actually get up and physically do something about it because it will just stay the same. We have to make a change, otherwise all these massively unjust things will go on about us all the time. It's so important gay people challenge all these things just like it is when people pick on people because of their colour, where they come from, what they look like. We need to make these issues just as important as those issues, you know.
How old were you when you realised when you were gay?
There wasn't a light bulb moment; it was a gradual thing when my feelings seemed to go in a different direction from all my friends. During adolescence, at high school I started realising.
Did you have any role models?
It was people like Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder and Mariah Carey. Music was my thing. There was definitely an emptiness and sadness within me through adolescence because I couldn't deal with my sexuality and music was one of the way I escaped, without a doubt.
Who did you first come out to?
Well Westlife happened in a fairytale way so that kind of almost slammed me back into the closet. Everything's so hyped and sensetionalised, and it puts so much more emphasis on things when you become famous so it held me down for a while and it took me a while to come to terms with it. I wanted to be comfortable with my own skin before coming out publicly. Then I met Kevin and I thought I can either stay indoors with him or come out. I was ready then as well. And that's the whole point and one of the reasons why I'm totally glad to get involved with this, is that it's about getting to the point where you don't care about people knowing you are gay. It's the most important thing in any gay person's life and all this bullying stops and hinders a gay lad or girl from getting to that point. It needs to stop now, it's so unhealthy and so wrong.
Are you glad you came out?
It's the best thing I've ever done in my life. It outshines and overshadows everything else. Everyone says I look so much happier. The change from within me has been so immense, it's the most positive thing I have ever done and will ever do. I've uncovered the rest of me... I was only half a person before. It's the smallest thing and it's the biggest thing in the world, if that makes sense.
We have Stonewall in the UK and GLEN (Gay And Lesbian Equality Network) in the Republic of Ireland. I know you've been speaking to them about this, how are they getting on?
GLEN in Ireland is so important. I'm gradually getting to know more and more about the stuff that they do. The girl I was speaking to there was saying they are doing similar things to battle homophobic bullying but in Ireland a lot more of the schools are religious which is one of their bigger problems. With public schools the government can control what goes on, but in Ireland a lot of schools are run by religion and have get out clauses when it comes to talking about homosexuality.
At the shoot, it struck me the way that Ian paved the way for you guys to be out... What was it like meeting him?
I've always been a fan of his. I didn't even know he was gay until a while back when I read it in an interview and so I've read up on him. I admire him so much for all the things he has done for gay people. On the photoshoot he had such an aura about him. He made me comfortable and engaged all of us. He's just a very calming, funny, great man. I hope I meet him again.
What would you say to any kids reading this who are getting bullied?
I'd say that they have to understand that even if they think that this part of their life will never change, that's not true. Things won't always be the way they are now. If there are kids out there now feeling alone and feeling scared and annoyed, I just feel so... I just really hate thinking about it... it kills me to think of them sitting in their bedrooms feeling alone and depressed and low about things. All I can say is get through it, get to the place in your head where you can come out. That's so easily said, I'm 28 and I've done it but it's true. It's so important that people around these kids are educated and that homophobia is tackled. People need to realise that a throwaway remark at school will stab certain members of the class in the heart. Some people have it more difficult than others and some people have it easier, but I just feel for all the people out there because I used to be one of them. I used to sit in my bedroom feeling very alone even though I was surrounded by people that loved me, I didn't want to talk to anybody about it.
I think sometimes the gay media has a lot to answer for. I think when you are young and you want to come out and find a nice boyfriend and there's something about gay culture that makes it look like you can't do that, that all we do is have sex. You and Kevin are a young, happy couple and that can only be a positive thing for people to see.
A lot of the time in the media gay people are portrayed as being by themselves. I like that me and Kevin spend loads of time with our family, our grandparents love us to bits and we're very much together as a couple and have all our friends and family around us all the time. I'm scared if we put a foot out of place then people will want to see us fall but all we can do is live our lives. But gay people have ups and downs in their life like anyone else. Anytime a normal thing happens to someone in the public eye, it shows that gay people are just like staight people really. I think that's another reason everyone needs to back these campaignes, to show people we are here.
Credit/Source: Attitude Magazine / Thanks Jacqui for the scans
SEE PICTURES HERE
or HERE
THE LOVE PARADE
Attitude, Stonewall and a few of our friends want your help so we can stamp out homophobic bullying
MARK FEEHILY
Singer with multi-million selling group Westlife
So why have you decided to be part of this?
I think no gay man can say that he didn't have his own experience of coming to terms with his sexuality and it isn't always easy at school, which is an understatement. I 100% want to help abolish homophobic bullying in schools, if that's possible.
Did you get bullied?
I was chubby through my high school years so got bullied for that. I think it's not just individual bullying, it's the way that kids in classrooms speak about homosexuality and the way they use the word gay to mean bad - gay trainers, a gay jacket they don't like - that needs to be tackled. There can be a kid listening to that and gauging what his mates think. Hearing his mates talking about it in a derogatory way is not going to help him come to terms with his sexuality. The funny thing is you can have three or four gay lads in your class but at school no one will ever even adress the possibility, everyone's pertified.
So we did this cover shoot on the Thursday and then news broke on the Saturday about a young man in Liverpool...
Oh yeah, that was so f**king crazy. The kid (Michael Causer) got killed, didn't he? f**king horrific... I was out of the country and I didn't hear about it at first...
No one did, it hasn't been big news nationally at all... which is almost just as shocking to me...
It's absolutely ludicrous. I can't even describe how that makes me feel... You know, I'm gay too and that could happen to me, or to any of us. I don't know the ins and outs of it but it engrages me. Something I've realised is that things don't change until people get up and do something about it. There's no point sitting around just talking about this unless people actually get up and physically do something about it because it will just stay the same. We have to make a change, otherwise all these massively unjust things will go on about us all the time. It's so important gay people challenge all these things just like it is when people pick on people because of their colour, where they come from, what they look like. We need to make these issues just as important as those issues, you know.
How old were you when you realised when you were gay?
There wasn't a light bulb moment; it was a gradual thing when my feelings seemed to go in a different direction from all my friends. During adolescence, at high school I started realising.
Did you have any role models?
It was people like Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder and Mariah Carey. Music was my thing. There was definitely an emptiness and sadness within me through adolescence because I couldn't deal with my sexuality and music was one of the way I escaped, without a doubt.
Who did you first come out to?
Well Westlife happened in a fairytale way so that kind of almost slammed me back into the closet. Everything's so hyped and sensetionalised, and it puts so much more emphasis on things when you become famous so it held me down for a while and it took me a while to come to terms with it. I wanted to be comfortable with my own skin before coming out publicly. Then I met Kevin and I thought I can either stay indoors with him or come out. I was ready then as well. And that's the whole point and one of the reasons why I'm totally glad to get involved with this, is that it's about getting to the point where you don't care about people knowing you are gay. It's the most important thing in any gay person's life and all this bullying stops and hinders a gay lad or girl from getting to that point. It needs to stop now, it's so unhealthy and so wrong.
Are you glad you came out?
It's the best thing I've ever done in my life. It outshines and overshadows everything else. Everyone says I look so much happier. The change from within me has been so immense, it's the most positive thing I have ever done and will ever do. I've uncovered the rest of me... I was only half a person before. It's the smallest thing and it's the biggest thing in the world, if that makes sense.
We have Stonewall in the UK and GLEN (Gay And Lesbian Equality Network) in the Republic of Ireland. I know you've been speaking to them about this, how are they getting on?
GLEN in Ireland is so important. I'm gradually getting to know more and more about the stuff that they do. The girl I was speaking to there was saying they are doing similar things to battle homophobic bullying but in Ireland a lot more of the schools are religious which is one of their bigger problems. With public schools the government can control what goes on, but in Ireland a lot of schools are run by religion and have get out clauses when it comes to talking about homosexuality.
At the shoot, it struck me the way that Ian paved the way for you guys to be out... What was it like meeting him?
I've always been a fan of his. I didn't even know he was gay until a while back when I read it in an interview and so I've read up on him. I admire him so much for all the things he has done for gay people. On the photoshoot he had such an aura about him. He made me comfortable and engaged all of us. He's just a very calming, funny, great man. I hope I meet him again.
What would you say to any kids reading this who are getting bullied?
I'd say that they have to understand that even if they think that this part of their life will never change, that's not true. Things won't always be the way they are now. If there are kids out there now feeling alone and feeling scared and annoyed, I just feel so... I just really hate thinking about it... it kills me to think of them sitting in their bedrooms feeling alone and depressed and low about things. All I can say is get through it, get to the place in your head where you can come out. That's so easily said, I'm 28 and I've done it but it's true. It's so important that people around these kids are educated and that homophobia is tackled. People need to realise that a throwaway remark at school will stab certain members of the class in the heart. Some people have it more difficult than others and some people have it easier, but I just feel for all the people out there because I used to be one of them. I used to sit in my bedroom feeling very alone even though I was surrounded by people that loved me, I didn't want to talk to anybody about it.
I think sometimes the gay media has a lot to answer for. I think when you are young and you want to come out and find a nice boyfriend and there's something about gay culture that makes it look like you can't do that, that all we do is have sex. You and Kevin are a young, happy couple and that can only be a positive thing for people to see.
A lot of the time in the media gay people are portrayed as being by themselves. I like that me and Kevin spend loads of time with our family, our grandparents love us to bits and we're very much together as a couple and have all our friends and family around us all the time. I'm scared if we put a foot out of place then people will want to see us fall but all we can do is live our lives. But gay people have ups and downs in their life like anyone else. Anytime a normal thing happens to someone in the public eye, it shows that gay people are just like staight people really. I think that's another reason everyone needs to back these campaignes, to show people we are here.
Credit/Source: Attitude Magazine / Thanks Jacqui for the scans
SEE PICTURES HERE
or HERE